A Secret

You don’t need to write some self help book with the intention it’s going to save people, or become Tony Robbins or go build 12 schools in Colombia to save our planet. Do you REALLY want to save our planet?

 Then live your own damn TRUTH!

Speak your truth! Be your truth! Live your truth!

Don’t sit around every day and drink Pepsi and think you’re doing anyone any favors.

The greatest cause of disease is all the emotions that we hold onto that manifest into physical pain in our bodies. If you want to swallow your truth and work, have a job that you hate—it will kill you and that ain’t doing you or your family any favours. 

So how does it heal this world if you do what you love?

 Well, when you do what you love, you shine.

You become happy.

You float like a weightless chipmunk through your days because nothing is heavy anymore. People will walk up to you and when you tell them they will go, “Ahhhhh, that’s why. You’re happy because you do what you love!”

Like its some damn secret that somebody needs to tell everybody else (even though you already know and he knows, and she knows and we all know)

The secret: do what you love!

But it’s a secret so SsHhhhhhh, don’t tell anyone. 


Getting A Grip

OK so, I struggle every day with OCD. I also have a love hate relationship with housework and every day chores. My house is always clean and I am always striving to keep on top of the chores. But yet it consumes me. It takes me longer to do each task because I have to do it all with one hand. 
But I always manage to get it done one way or another, and it’s always done well. But when you throw in the obsessive-compulsive tendencies, I really struggle. Nothing I ever do is ever good enough, for me. And it’s never enough. 
Things have been escalating lately and it has made life inside of my head quite unbearable. So yesterday I sat down with my notebook and I broke down my house room by room. I did A page for each room and then for each room I’ve listed every individual thing that I need to clean in that room. I made it very detailed and each task was very simple. And I have committed to sticking to one room per day. Rather than going around all the time, freaking out, because there is so much cleaning that has to be done and then crumbling under the pressure that I keep putting on myself, I’m going to attempt a new routine. I will focus on one room each day. When my checklist is complete, then I’m off the hook for any other cleaning, except laundry and dishes. My goal? To ease some of my anxiety and to stop the feelings of panic I have every day. I don’t want to be at the circus or at anniversary parties thinking about going home so I can change the sheets in our bed. 

I’m saying it here so I can be accountable. I need to do this. Because I’m starting to go crazy. 

The Most Liberating Thing Is

getting out of the shower, wearing nothing but a towel full of purple hair dye stains,
in an empty house
as a favorite song starts playing through the speakers
that have been playing your favorite songs at maximum volume for the past 2 hours.
Dropping your towel along with any and all self consciousness
you sing every word to the song and twirl around your kitchen,
shaking your fresh purple hair
as you smile for the first time this week.

Just over a year ago

I know this sounds weird,

But sometimes, I wonder what my bed sheets say about me when I’m not around.
I wonder what the curtains would do if they found out about all the things I’ve done behind their backs.
I’ve got a hamper that’s overflowing with really, really loud mistakes, and a graveyard in my closet.
I’m afraid that if I let you see my skeletons, you’ll grind my bones into powder and get high on my fault lines.