I have fallen apart. I can honestly say that at this point, this hour, this minute, in this night ….. I am a risk to myself.
My thoughts are raging out of control. I have not self injured in years but if you would consider “accidentally” pulling your IV out of your own arm because you so desperately need to hurt yourself and cause pain and blood WITHOUT it looking like an act of self harm. Yeah. I did that.
My mind is RAGING and I am afraid ….. of myself. I CANNOT tell them about this …. I REFUSE to be hospitalized in GF on 2E. I can’t go where I will have different doctors treating me. I need MY OWN psychiatrist that’s HERE to look after me.
There MUST be SOMETHING.