That Feeling When ..

… there’s no end to the tears. Alone, with thoughts that I don’t want to be having. Flashes of memories of those times when I was self harming. Wanting so bad to bring that blade across my skin. That line of blood that follows. But doing so would mean putting my marriage at risk. He said he can or is at least willing to try his best to help me cope with my struggles but self harm would be the deal breaker.

So here I am, curled up, unable to stop crying, because my mind is out of control. I’m losing the grip I have and I’m about to fall.

Really hard.



About Secret Stains

I wanna do something that matters, say something different, something that sets the whole world on it's ear. i wanna do something better with the time I've been given and I wanna try to touch a few hearts in this life to prove I was here. I apologize if I seem absent minded sometimes. Sometimes I forget I'm still awake and say things out loud. Inside I am beginning to burst at the seams. There are so many secrets ... so many scars ... so many stains. This is me. Welcome to my world.
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2 Responses to That Feeling When ..

  1. kat says:

    hang in there. we are here rooting for you, holding you safe. this won’t last forever.


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