It’s Bad, It’s Very Very Bad

I’m a disaster.
Suicidal.
Thoughts. Scary.
Distant. Detached.
Crying. Uncontrollable.
I want to be alone. David should go to Bay Roberts without me.
I need to be alone so that I can deal with my demons the way I need to.
But I need time alone.

Something I know that no one will give me. I know I need this time but no one trust me.

So instead I have to suffer. Quietly.
Until I combust.
Which is going to be very soon.
Very
Very
Soon.

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About Secret Stains

I wanna do something that matters, say something different, something that sets the whole world on it's ear. i wanna do something better with the time I've been given and I wanna try to touch a few hearts in this life to prove I was here. I apologize if I seem absent minded sometimes. Sometimes I forget I'm still awake and say things out loud. Inside I am beginning to burst at the seams. There are so many secrets ... so many scars ... so many stains. This is me. Welcome to my world.
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7 Responses to It’s Bad, It’s Very Very Bad

  1. kat says:

    oh i have been where you are, and it is an awful place with no apparent escape full of torture. ask for help, from anyone, to get through this, ask your providers, your friends, family, david. tell them you are lost and cant find the way back. let them help show you the path. i know you can’t see it now, but its there somewhere. caring and safe thoughts your way, with lots of safe (((hugs))).

    Like

  2. chely5150 says:

    Oh girlfriend – I HEAR your pain. Please let reach out my hands and hold some of it for you. Take the weight off – please just let my words be of a help to you -anything you wish I will be listening. your friend chely

    Like

  3. secretstains says:

    Chely,
    Do you have facebook?

    Like

    • chely5150 says:

      Unfortunately I don’t, in my pen name. I thought it would be best if I kept them seperate. Maybe I should set up another one-that a good idea. I’ll let u know as soon as I do. Looking forward to chatting with you more. Hugs chely

      Like

  4. secretstains says:

    That’s ok. I just thought that facebook would be an easier way to chat more. That’s all 🙂

    Like

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