What Makes It Work

So yesterday was our 4th anniversary. We drove to a nearby town and went to see 50 Shades Of Grey. Then we went to Gibson’s Restaurant and had a lovely meal of home cooked moose burgers and fries. We spent the night in a hotel rather than make the drive home after dark. It was a nice get away.

But also an eye opener. I learned a few things this past week that has now put some strain on our relationship. Nothing that we cannot work through I’m sure, but will definitely need a lot of prayer and patience and a ton of understanding.

I have a very close relationship with my husband. One that a few people have told me they are envious of. But we don’t get this kind of closeness without a lot of work. People get to see the surface. Only the things that we want to reveal. No one but us are aware of the deep heartache that is often felt and the many tears that are shed when it’s just the 2 of us. The reason we are able to remain so close, so secure and so in love, is that those tears and those heartaches are things we share. We wipe each other’s tears. We beg forgiveness when we slip up and fail at living up to our roles as husband and wife. We pray. For each other. For ourselves. For our relationship. For our future. And as a couple who are still madly in love with each other we take life a day at a time. But never alone.

So this marking the 4th anniversary of our vows to love each other forever, I have 4 things that I have learned that has made our marriage work.

#1. Prayer. For every single concern and problem that comes up, and for every single joy and accomplishment we experience, we talk to God about it. Both of us have grown up without a safe and respectable father there for us but now we both look to God for that. That parental figure we can go to for help, one we can go to for that listening ear, and even one we can go to when we are excited about things. Prayer has most definitely held our relationship together.

#2. We kiss. Good Morning. Good night. And as many times in between as we can.

#3. We participate. In each other’s lives. We do fun things that I enjoy and we do fun things that he enjoys. I show interest in his day at work and he shows interest in my day at home. We go together to medical appointments. He will sometimes go shopping for clothes with me and other times I will go looking at cars with him. We are involved in each other’s life not because we have to but because we want to.

#3. We talk. About movies. Snowstorms. Our nightmares. Laundry. Frustrations at work. Things we want for our future. Health concerns. Financial concerns. Family secrets. We talk to each other about everything and don’t hold back anything. Secrets, especially in marriages, can be deadly.

#4. We make plans for our future. Some are realistic while others are far fetched dreams. But we set goals to achieve together. We plan where we want to be next year. In 5 years. 10 years. Our future always each other.

Without these things I would be single and alone because our marriage would never work without it. 

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