Overweight does not equate to unattractive.
Overweight does not equate to useless.
Overweight does not equate to failure.
Instead of viewing my curves as horrible things that I’m ashamed of, lately I’ve been really thinking hard about the fact that I need to embrace them as part of who I am. I’ve had more than my share of ups and downs in life, and my body has the scars and lumps and bumps and other markings to show it. They’re part of my story. Part of my beauty. It’s part of what makes me ME.
I need to change the way I speak about my body. I’ve always joked about my size in a self-deprecating way, but it’s quite obvious that when you use negative language about yourself, it’s really easy to start believing it.
It’s just that I’ve never truly felt feminine. I feel more like a failure as a woman. But I’m really trying wholeheartedly to make myself believe that femininity has nothing to do with any sort of skincare routine or how much body hair I get rid of. It’s more about embracing who I am as a woman and finding my strength in that. I am working really hard at discovering my femininity.
And yesterday I did something I never thought in a million years I would ever do again, with my wedding day being the one and only time. I bought a dress!!!!!
I still can’t believe I did it.
But I was in the store with my hubby and randomly stopped to glance at the women’s clothing section. There was a dress there and just being silly, I held it up against my body and started dancing around with it and I said to David, “Just imagine me going around in this!” And I burst out laughing.
But David got serious and said I should go try it on. After a bit of encouragement (ok, a LOT of encouragement) I tried it on. The only other time I have tried on a dress was during the fittings for my wedding 3 years ago.
Long story short, I had my husband in tears (because I was pretty apparently) and I ended up buying the dress to wear to the upcoming wedding of my father in law. David is the best man in the wedding and will be in a tux so I guess it will be an appropriate time and place for me to wear a dress.
Just the thought makes me sick to my stomach. But if I want to feel feminine then there is no better way to do that than to wear a dress!!