Conflict is necessary for a healthy marriage. I’m learning that. For the first 2 years I don’t think we had a single argument. But we both ended up on anti-anxiety medications. Now I’m not saying it was our marriage that caused such anxiety within the both of us. But this past year has been different. There have been disagreements. Maybe I could even call them full out arguments. Ironically, he hasn’t taken meds for a year now. And my own supply of Ativan stretches out way past its refill date.
The disagreements get stuff out. Its a moment where things are said that you wish you didn’t say. But you know what? I think that whatever is blurted out in that moment of frustration has some truth to it even if you later deny it. It would never have rolled off your tongue if it hadn’t been floating around in your mind on some level. With us, it is these blurted out statements that spark further conversations later on.
We always talk. When things touchy around our house then it becomes obvious that one of us is being bothered by something. For us, the place where we tend to blow off steam is in the car. While out for a drive or heading somewhere specific, the car has always been somewhat of a ‘safe place’ for us to share the deepest thoughts and feelings …..
Ironic that this ‘safe place of talk’ is the very place that made me an amputee and almost took my life.