Getting It Out There

Conflict is necessary for a healthy marriage. I’m learning that. For the first 2 years I don’t think we had a single argument. But we both ended up on anti-anxiety medications. Now I’m not saying it was our marriage that caused such anxiety within the both of us. But this past year has been different. There have been disagreements. Maybe I could even call them full out arguments. Ironically, he hasn’t taken meds for a year now. And my own supply of Ativan stretches out way past its refill date.

The disagreements get stuff out. Its a moment where things are said that you wish you didn’t say. But you know what? I think that whatever is blurted out in that moment of frustration has some truth to it even if you later deny it. It would never have rolled off your tongue if it hadn’t been floating around in your mind on some level. With us, it is these blurted out statements that spark further conversations later on.

We always talk. When things touchy around our house then it becomes obvious that one of us is being bothered by something. For us, the place where we tend to blow off steam is in the car. While out for a drive or heading somewhere specific, the car has always been somewhat of a ‘safe place’ for us to share the deepest thoughts and feelings …..

Ironic that this ‘safe place of talk’ is the very place that made me an amputee and almost took my life.


About Secret Stains

I wanna do something that matters, say something different, something that sets the whole world on it's ear. i wanna do something better with the time I've been given and I wanna try to touch a few hearts in this life to prove I was here. I apologize if I seem absent minded sometimes. Sometimes I forget I'm still awake and say things out loud. Inside I am beginning to burst at the seams. There are so many secrets ... so many scars ... so many stains. This is me. Welcome to my world.
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One Response to Getting It Out There

  1. manyofus1980 says:

    yes it is very ironic. you are so right though. healthy arguments are good and needed to sustain any marriage or relationship. things cant always be rosey all of the time. XX


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