High Functioning Depression

whispering-im-fine

She smiles a big bright smile for the entire world to see—

Contagious with her small teeth, goofy laugh and bright eyes.

On the outside her life looks so put together,

Experiencing things that she has spoken of for years,

Manifested the “perfect” life for her soul.

But when she’s alone, she cries—

She cries for the strength to keep going.

She cries for the aching muscles and bones

that never let her rest.

She cries for the money she isn’t making.

She cries for the emptiness in her heart,

For the emptiness in her womb.

She smiles for the love her family gives her.

She smiles for the beautiful sunrises,

outside her window every morning.

She smiles when Momma Moon’s rays beam into her bedroom,

as she lays bathing in the moonlight.

She smiles for manifesting beautiful dreams into reality.

She smiles because at the end of the day

Because she knows it will get better.

She is your neighbor, your sister, your mother, your wife… She strives to be perfect. She makes sure everyone else is taken care of, before she takes care of herself. She puts her needs to the side to make sure yours are met. She hides behind that big bright smile, But she is dealing, every day, with depression. High-functioning depression— the debilitating mood disorder of depression that is suppressed just enough for one to carry out their daily responsibilities and duties.

My heart goes out to anyone with high functioning depression. While being eaten alive on the inside you are able to function enough to do the daily tasks that need to get done. But when its all done and you are alone, you break.

I break.

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