A Snapshot From Last Night

It’s 4 a.m., and once again I’m unable to sleep. As I sit alone in my living room, guided meditation for pain streaming though my iPhone and sounds of my husband and dog’s snores hovering in the background, I attempt to choke back the tears.

I am on fire.

There are no flames, smoke or alarms sounding nor is there any urgency to put it out. Unlike a traditional fire, this one cannot be extinguished. Intense, unrelenting burning pain is affecting all of my limbs. They are red, warm to the touch, and grossly swollen. All I can do is wait, hoping the embers will soon dwindle to a low, more tolerable smolder.

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