Coping With It – On My Own

I know how hard it is when you have no one to talk to. Especially no one who understands what’s going on with you. I have spent most of my life dealing with my issues myself because I had no one I could trust. 

Dealing with anxiety and OCD and depression and bipolar and PTSD and bulimia is a lot different and a lot harder to talk about than things like school stress, money problems, and even stress related to your kids acting up or something. Those are common things that many people talk about because it is something that many people have in common but when it comes to things like OCD and anxiety and depression, those things make people uncomfortable and there’s nothing worse than when you are trying to explain to someone what is going on in your head and they get that uncomfortable look on their face and you realize that they have no idea what you are talking about because they don’t have the same struggles. It just makes you feel so alone. 

Well, in my experience anyways. 

I have OCD and GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder). I also have Bipolar, PTSD, and depression. I’m on a shit load of meds for it all and they keep me fairly stable most days. But I have episodes of each issue and sometimes more than one thing will flare up. I might have a few days of depression and severe OCD symptoms. Or I might have anxiety attacks brought on by PTSD issues. It’s crazy. It makes ME feel crazy. And lonely. I feel very lonely because it’s a huge part of me that David and I have to work through and deal with alone. And not having friends here doesn’t make it any better. 

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About Secret Stains

I wanna do something that matters, say something different, something that sets the whole world on it's ear. i wanna do something better with the time I've been given and I wanna try to touch a few hearts in this life to prove I was here. I apologize if I seem absent minded sometimes. Sometimes I forget I'm still awake and say things out loud. Inside I am beginning to burst at the seams. There are so many secrets ... so many scars ... so many stains. This is me. Welcome to my world.
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