OK so, I struggle every day with OCD. I also have a love hate relationship with housework and every day chores. My house is always clean and I am always striving to keep on top of the chores. But yet it consumes me. It takes me longer to do each task because I have to do it all with one hand.
But I always manage to get it done one way or another, and it’s always done well. But when you throw in the obsessive-compulsive tendencies, I really struggle. Nothing I ever do is ever good enough, for me. And it’s never enough.
Things have been escalating lately and it has made life inside of my head quite unbearable. So yesterday I sat down with my notebook and I broke down my house room by room. I did A page for each room and then for each room I’ve listed every individual thing that I need to clean in that room. I made it very detailed and each task was very simple. And I have committed to sticking to one room per day. Rather than going around all the time, freaking out, because there is so much cleaning that has to be done and then crumbling under the pressure that I keep putting on myself, I’m going to attempt a new routine. I will focus on one room each day. When my checklist is complete, then I’m off the hook for any other cleaning, except laundry and dishes. My goal? To ease some of my anxiety and to stop the feelings of panic I have every day. I don’t want to be at the circus or at anniversary parties thinking about going home so I can change the sheets in our bed.
I’m saying it here so I can be accountable. I need to do this. Because I’m starting to go crazy.