I need you to know this

… None of us have it all figured out. None of us are immune to pain. We are all on this planet, lost together. We are never as alone as we feel. We are all here together to help each other live. If you think the planet really would be better without you, then you wouldn’t have been born in the first place. I’m serious. You are here because you are meant to be. This world needs you, even if you can’t see it. We need YOU.

… Yes, life sucks sometimes, actually a lot of the time, but it isn’t hopeless, I promise. Every single day things have the potential of getting better. They WILL get better. Pain hurts so much … but
joy and love are out there too.

… When I get happy now I feel it deeper than most people. I feel its full intensity because I know what it’s like to be in excruciating pain. Joy is a gift. Even if I only get to experience it a handful of times in my life, I want to squeeze every drop from it. I can honestly say NOW that happiness is real.

… The things that stress me out matter, yes, but they aren’t everything. Yes, I’m broke. Yes, I’m ALWAYS in pain, but dammit, the sun was out today. I am breathing on my own. I can walk (after dr's saying I would never regain that strength). I can hide under the covers and snuggle with David all day if I want to.. I can eat ice cream for supper. I can laugh. I can cry. No emotion lasts forever.

… By choosing to live I can help people. Maybe I might be able to help one person feel better. By helping even just that one person I am also helping myself.

… Ashley, you have no idea what you are missing. I wish there was some way I could share this thing they call happiness with you. I think you'd still be here right now if you had gotten a chance to feel it for yourself …

I miss you.


About Secret Stains

I wanna do something that matters, say something different, something that sets the whole world on it's ear. i wanna do something better with the time I've been given and I wanna try to touch a few hearts in this life to prove I was here. I apologize if I seem absent minded sometimes. Sometimes I forget I'm still awake and say things out loud. Inside I am beginning to burst at the seams. There are so many secrets ... so many scars ... so many stains. This is me. Welcome to my world.
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