What’s The Friggin Point?

I can’t keep up with this. My anxiety is really bad. I’ve been going around today visiting some family and my legs are weak. My heart is continuously beating fast and very deep. It feels like my heart is no longer located in my chest, but rather in the pit of my stomach.And thankfully I have autocorrect because 5I’m shaking so much that it is difficult to type anything on my phone.

Yesterday I ended up missing out on a family gathering because I mentally could not convince my limbs to move. I felt paralyzed and glued to my mattress. It wasn’t until 2pm that I could get myself to stand up. Things continued to work in slow motion the rest of the day.

I did manage to dress and put on some mascara and eye shadow and by 5:45m I Was standing in the kitchen, ready to leave to go to a Christmas church service. I was proud of myself for getting so far considering the state of my mind earlier that day. But then everything blew up within a matter of minutes. My dog managed to get outside and we couldn’t get him to come back to the house. We tried everything possible to bribe him back in but no. He knew that we were going somewhere and he was determined to come with us. He didn’t get to go though. Neither of us got to go actually. My husband got very upset because we had been rushing around trying to get out of the door on time but yet now we were very late so he turned around, stormed off into the house, put his pajamas on, and said we aren’t going. So after having some angry words with him I went to bed with my face stained with mascara. I didn’t have the strength to even wash it off because I just didn’t care anymore.

What is the friggin point?