On The Road To A Healthy Me

June 25th Check In:

Had a strong, determined and committed day! I need to improve the water intake. As per my goal for this week I have been working really hard on eating every 2-3 hours and it’s been feeling almost impossible to do. But today has been the closest to perfection as I’m going to get. I got my food group servings  in through 4 small meals. I have one fruit put aside specifically for a snack around 9pm. 

I often find myself hungry at night and since I usually don’t go to bed before midnight I’m going to try reserving one serving every day for a small 9pm snack. I’m really learning a lot about what does and does not work for me and I’m trying to implement things to deal with this stuff. 

Food Intake: Met my goals, no more/no less

Water Intake: 2.5 liters 

Protein Shake✔

️Exercise✔️

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Summer Problem #162

The people that drove by me during my walk tonight must think I am some kind of crazed lunatic. My arm had more of a workout than my legs did, trying to bat all of the flies away from me. 

This Is Just The Beginning 

here goes:

My name is Danielle and there are many things I could start off telling you about myself. 

Like how I have always been overweight my entire life, even as a child. I was always the biggest kid in my grade. I was bullied throughout my entire childhood for being fat. There has never been a point in my life where I haven’t fallen into the obesity category. 

Or I could tell you about how an eating disorder, Bulimia Nervosa, consumed me for 14 years and almost killed me in 2009, which led to a 9 month hospitalization at a treatment facility in Guelph, Ontario where, once physically stabilized and my heart was no longer in danger of stopping, I went through an intense recovery program that included a variety of different therapeutic approaches such as group therapy, cognitive behavioural therapy, one on one counselling and several other targeted therapies. I am proud to say that except for a few minor relapses, I have been able to maintain my recovery from bulimia nervosa to this day. Every day I fight to stay on track. 

Or I could tell you about how I am an amputee. In 2010 I was in a very serious car accident that almost took my life. After weeks in a coma I woke to find that my entire body had been mangled beyond recognition. My face was beyond recognizable. My back had been broken and I was told I may never walk again. My knees had been crushed as well as my chest cavity. But the biggest damage was on my left side. I had lost my arm and half of my breast. Never again would I ever be the same. I had a choice to make at this point. Do I lay there on my back for the rest of my life and have other people tend to my every need? Or do I clench my teeth, cry my way through the pain, and get my life back in order? I chose the latter. Now today I am back on my feet and going strong. I spent almost 2 years in physiotherapy and I can walk just as I could before the accident. I have adjusted well with only one arm and everything is second nature to me now. 

I should be happy right? I’m alive! I can walk! But there’s one BIG problem. I am morbidly obese. Through the years I continuously gained weight and in April 2016 I tipped the scales at 369 pounds. Desperation set in. My body was constantly swollen. Every joint ached all day, every day. I never wanted to leave my house out of sheer embarrassment, for fear of being seen, judged, just like what I went through ever day as a child. I feel their stares, I hear local kids giggle behind my back and I turn my eyes away from any mirrors I may see because I can’t handle to see my reflection.

This is a horrible way to live. Enough is enough. I’m only young and I’m not ready to die, especially not this way. While browsing some different websites for some hope and inspiration, one thing led to another and I came into contact with a wonderful woman who is a personal health and fitness coach and she took me on as her client. I then joined a challenge group and signed up for a program called the 21 Day Fix thus beginning my journey to a new and better, healthier me. 

May of this year has marked to be one of the most transformational months of my life, both inside and out. I have learned what proper portion sizes look like. I now know what clean eating really means. I have also learned that I can do anything for just one minute! That burning, intense, crazy exercise move? 60 seconds! And those last 10 seconds? That’s when I found out how strong I truly am.

I am starting to understand now that I am a warrior, and that I work very hard. I am fighting for my life every day. I may not change the world, but I can walk at a steady pace for 30 minutes straight now and that is a start. I am losing weight, and I am sleeping better and feeling stronger than I have in years. My goals for each day are different now and even though these goals are not always met, the fact that I even keep going is a huge improvement. I have hope now. Hope for increasing wellness. I hope for continued weight loss. I hope for a continued improvement in my physical functioning and I hope for a long, healthier and happier life.

Also, I have proven to myself (and everyone else) that small changes can make a huge difference because … *insert drumroll* … My weight has went from a mind blowing 369lbs to 354lbs in round one of the 21 Day Fix. If I could do something so hard (yet so simple), then believe me when I say that you can too. Your life and your happiness depends on it.

I’m A Little Cleaner Today

I’ve been trying to focus more on the type of foods I eat. The more I learn about health and fitness and proper dietary needs the more I’m drawn to the concept of clean eating. Up until just recently. Pretty much everything on our regular shopping list was all processed, easy to cook, quick or instant, pre-cooked, pre-packaged, included cheese as an ingredient in the long list of ingredients posted on the labels. 

But I’m putting a lot of effort these days into cooking meals for David and I. I aim for a protein source, a vegetable of some sort and something whole grain. I learned that we both LOVE barley!! I tastes even better than brown rice. And David will actually eat it! So bonus points for that! 

He’s on board and willing to support my efforts to make us both healthier but he doesn’t have the same willpower as I do at the moment. It usually goes this way all the time. I get all hyped about something but it barely ever lasts more than a week and it all withers away. This time is much different though. This time I feel like this is the real deal. I think it’s the fact I have a coach and the whole accountability factor that is the key to my success right now. 

Mind you, despite the 2 weeks of healthy eating, no junk food or pop, and the introduction of an actual fitness plan I’ve only lost 2 pounds and I find that discouraging. 

But anyyyyyywayys. Below are a few things about clean eating from my coach:

The soul of eating clean is consuming food the way nature delivered it, or as close to it as possible. It is not a diet; it’s a lifestyle approach to food and its preparation, leading to an improved life – one meal at a time.
Eat five to six times a day. Three meals and two to three small snacks. Include a lean protein, plenty of fresh fruit and vegetables, and a complex carbohydrate with each meal. The steady intake of clean food keeps your body energized and burning calories efficiently all day long.

Choose organic clean foods whenever possible. If your budget limits you, make meat, eggs, dairy and the Dirty Dozen your organic priorities. 

Drink at least two liters of water a day. Preferably from a reusable canteen, not plastic; we’re friends of the environment here! Limit your alcohol intake to one glass of antioxidant-rich red wine a day. 

Get label savvy. Clean foods contain just one or two ingredients. Any product with a long ingredient list is human-made and not considered part of a clean diet.

Avoid processed and refined foods. This includes white flour, sugar, bread and pasta. Enjoy complex carbs such as whole grains instead. 
Know thy enemies. Steer clear of anything high in trans fats, anything fried or anything high in sugar. Avoid preservatives, color additives and toxic binders, stabilizers, emulsifiers and fat replacers. 

Consume healthy fats. Aim to have essential fatty acids, or EFAs, incorporated into your clean diet every day

Learn about portion sizes. Work towards eating within them. When eating clean, diet is as much about quantity as it is quality.

Reduce your carbon footprint. Eat produce that is seasonal and local. It is less taxing on your wallet and our environment.

Shop with a conscience. Consume humanely raised local meats and ocean-friendly seafood. 

Slow down and savor. Never rush through a meal. Food tastes best when savored. Enjoy every bite!

Take it to go. Pack a cooler for work or outings so you always have clean food on the go.

Make it a family affair. Food is a social glue that should be shared with loved ones. Improve the quality of your family’s life along with your own by eating clean as a team.

The Taste Of Fear

So my health/fitness coach wants to come to my house and visit. Any normal person would be incredibly grateful for this, right? Right. So why the heck is it causing me so much grief? I’m comfortable with her. I trust and respect her. A wonderful person who really knows what she’s doing. I should be elated to have her at my house.

But she’s on MY territory then. Do I offer coffee? Water? Do we sit to the dining room table or in the living room on the couch? Well, probably a chair in the middle of the room actually, because she is coming to do some fitness training with me.

Being an amputee and having other bodily ailments like 2 permanently damaged knees, well it prevents me from being able to do any type of yoga or pilates or any basic fitness that requires me to knee or get on the floor. So Karen has spent some time modifying the videos from the program (21 Day Fix) and will be coming to my house to do a training session. She wanted to do it at my place so that I’m in the area where I regularly (starting this week) will be doing my daily 30 minutes of physical activity.

I know this is a good thing. And yes, I am very grateful for this answer to prayer.

I think I’m scared. Of failing. Of putting in the time, the pain, the tears, and not achieving any results. That’s the bottom line here.

I’m scared.

 

 

 

May The Changes Begin 

I have a feeling that May month is going to be an amazing month. Best month of this year so far! This is the month of change. It’s now my time to bloom! 

After much searching and deliberation I have hired a personal health coach/fitness trainer who has 10 years of experience in this field. I have also ordered the 21 day fix dietary and fitness program. My coach has actually done several rounds of it and has been quite successful in her journey. She’s a military wife, in her early 40’s, a mom of 4 kids, and a nurse – on top of being a personal trainer! I gave her permission to give me a lot of tough love.

What have I got to lose?? Oh wait. I have a good 200lbs plus that have to be shed. Many health issues.  Low self esteem. Yes. I do have a lot to lose. 

Watch me!

Walking While Broken

Went for a walk tonight. 25 minutes. I dragged my fat ass around for 25 minutes. My foot hurt then. I walked as much as I could bear. Now I’m icing it.

I can’t live like this. Having to recover every time I want to walk any extended lengths. Pitiful. Sickening.

Embarrassing.